Quaker House

An eMail Exchange with an AWOL GI June 2005

comments in bold by Chuck Fager, Director of Quaker House

Freddy–

Thanks for getting back in touch; I’ve been wondering and worrying about you.

Chuck, thank you for the info on my situation. It was really encouraging to talk with you as well. I know that I’m not alone and some crazy person with these feelings and ideas.>>

Definitely not, on either score: you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

It’s been a while since we talked, I spoke with my command about options on getting out and they presented me with one: being a CO. But after looking at the regulations that cover that option and looking over the criteria I felt that it wasn’t for me.

I’m not surprised, or dismayed by this. There are plenty of people who are don’t have CO convictions who nonetheless are deeply opposed to the Iraq war and all that goes with it. No matter what the regs say, their consciences (and yours) are as authentic and worthy of respect as anyone else’s.

I know this is different than what you believe, and I respect your stance and especially the support you offer soldiers coming back and dealing with these things, but I felt that I didn’t fall into that category. In my heart, after praying and getting in the Word, I felt that God justifies the taking of life in certain situations. Even in certain conflicts (ie. WWI/WWII etc.), but definately not this one.

Maybe sometime when this is over with we can talk about all this. meantime, just stay safe and know there’s no judgment on this end.

I do, however, feel that my feelings and stance is completely valid and legitimate.

Yep.

A few sundays ago, during worship, I was praying about things and felt a real peace about leaving. So, last week I packed my stuff up and left leaving a note that explained my feelings and that I wouldn’t manipulate my emotions to categorize myself into qualifying for CO.

Okay. I’ll certainly stand behind your choice.

I have contacted GI Rights Hotline and they are helping me, but please pray for guidance and protection if you would. Only time will tell what will happen, but I wanted to thank you and let you know your help is definately appreciated. God bless and stay real.

I’ll do my best.

If you haven’t already, let me recommend you google the piece “AWOL in America” which was recently published in Harpers. Here’s a link: AWOL in America. It tells of several GIs who have been through inner conflicts much like yours. It would be valuable reading.

If you need to talk, give me a call anytime (tho I’ll be away a lot in July). Just be careful about where you’re calling from, as we assume that somebody else (other than God) could be listening.

Let me know how your situation resolves itself.